The Talk by PHQ2004

Rating: G
Genres: Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 06/06/2006
Last Updated: 07/06/2006
Status: Completed

AU it started out as a quiet sunday afteroon...ONESHOT




1. untitled
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**The Talk**

The Heads common room was as comfortable and welcoming as it had ever been. Hermione had finally
convinced the Head boy and her wonderful boyfriend of seven months to settle down and work on the
Transfiguration essay that he had been putting off while she looked forward to putting a dent into
the an Arithmacy essay that was due in a short week and a half. Just as the calming sounds of
quills against parchment filled the room the portrait hole swung open and in walked the missing
part of the trio, Ron Weasley.

Ron came bursting in the room and without even waiting for a greeting he shouted

“Harry…Hermione…we need to talk.”

Hermione, disgruntled at the fact that her sanctuary and once again been disrupted by the
boisterous sounds of Ronald Weasley muttered “I knew we never should have told him the password…”
she was about to put Ronald in his proper place when she looked up and noticed what Ron was
wearing.

There he stood Ron Weasley in all his glory with his hair spiked up was dressed in tight black
leather pants that left little to the imagination and a midnight blue mesh tank top.

Hermione, who was about to launch into a tirade about respecting the privacy of others and the
importance of quiet study environments took in her best friends appearance and realizing what was
about to happen closed her mouth and sat back in her chair waiting for the show to begin.
Meanwhile, Harry upon hearing the voice of his best mate looked up grateful for the
distraction.

He was mid-sentence when he realized what his friend was wearing “Sure mate! What is it?”
unfortunately the last half of that statement came out as a squeak.

Ron took a deep breath, steadied himself and began “I'm in love, with Draco Malfoy…I know
you can't believe it but it's true, I've been fighting these feelings for so long now
but I can't…I won't deny myself anymore. I love him and he loves me all these years of
fighting back and forth has really been a twisted form of flirtation I guess but now I know that I
am madly in love with my drakikins.”

After saying all of this Ron looked up, slightly red in the face and said “I love you both very
much, you mean the world to me I wouldn't even trade you in for a chance to see the Chudley
Cannons win the league championship…”

Harry noticing the look on Ron's face and the opportunity to lighten the situation said with
am impish grin on his face “Really Ron?”

Ron, who had lapsed into visions of the Chudley Cannons coming out of the season victorious with
the League Cup, came back to the conversation.

“Well…of course mate! You know I love you both…I just hope you can accept who I am and the
relationship that Draco and I have now, I would hate for this to be the end of our little trio…”
That said Ron took a step back and looked defiantly into the eyes of his two best friends. What
happened next both relieved Ron and left him feeling slightly disappointed.

Hermione, who had been oddly quiet the whole time looked over at Harry a strange silent
conversation took place before she gave her full attention to Ron. Then she began “Ron darling, of
course we accept and love you no matter what lifestyle choices you make. However, I do rather have
a problem with the whole mesh tank combination; it is rather horrible make a commitment luv one or
the other. Also, I'm sure Harry agrees with me when I say that we really do wish the best for
you and your Drakikins…”

Harry shrugged, looked over at his anxiously awaiting red haired friend and said, “Yeah mate,
whatever raises your broomstick…” this remark quickly earned him a slap upside the head from his
lovely girlfriend.

Ron, whose face quickly washed over with relief said “Really? Well…Ok then…BLOODY HELL! It's
getting late, I best be off I have a “meeting” with someone in the North Tower…bye”

As soon as the portrait hole closed Harry shook his head slightly and just as he was about to
begin his paragraph on why it is feathers make better pillows than parchment paper he was
interrupted when his girlfriend, with a triumphant look on her face held out her right hand and
said…

”I do believe you owe me something…”

Harry reluctantly pulled out his change pouch and counted out seven sickles all the while
muttering…

“I could have sworn it was going to be Ernie…”

**The End**

So right in the middle of writing one of my short stories for my creative writing class I
thought of this funny little story, I hope you had a laugh…please be kind to this stressed out
college student, make my day; leave me a comment. Please? I <3 you!

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2. Just a note...
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Ok so I just wanted to put this out there since I received a few comments on my grammar…I wrote
this story on a piece of notebook paper while working on a separate project, I then proceeded to
type the story from said notebook paper directly into the computer. It's pretty lame that
people can't just enjoy a story and instead feel they need to nitpick every little grammatical
error. This story was written for the sole enjoyment of others, it's just a little piece of
nonsense and should be treated as such…Sorry about that little rant, it just bothers me that people
can't just enjoy a funny (in my opinion) story. And yes I am in a creative writing class (my
first ever!)But, I don't really think that should determine the quality of my stories, it's
not like I'm taking an HP creative writing class (how cool would that be though?).

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